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Where does one start?
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By Trish West

It has been 14 years since we have had the opportunity to truly be alone with each other. Unable to get away from the demands of work… it seems something is always coming up. Deadlines and workloads that slowly take over evenings and weekends that could otherwise be spent together. The stress piling up, getting through one day to the next, thinking once this job is complete… I will have time again.

Time is taken over once again once the babies come, starting a family… replacing a career for parenthood. A new set of demands divide your attention with midnight feedings, 2 minute showers with the doorway open and uncertainty if you're making the right decisions. The new challenges that come as you struggle to get them to clean their rooms, requests to drive them to their friends and the constant struggle over homework. Finding you are exhausted but thankful each night, when you are able to tuck them each safely into their own beds.

The search to figure out who you are, years later — not the same person you were when you graduated from college. Spending time trying to figure out what your interests are, what you are good at and where you want to be. Wanting to move forward but unsure who you have become and afraid you've lost yourself…unsure of your relationships, friendships and trying to understand how they have changed. "I don't know what you want or what you like anymore"….a difficult question to answer when you don’t have the answers yourself.

14 years since the opportunity to be alone, look at our relationship and focus on only that. No work to distract, no kids demanding attention and no dishes needing to be put away. Taking the time to getaway in hopes to discover what now feels lost, to remember the love and learn to trust again. Needing to talk but afraid, unsure and scared the words will fail you. So discussions revolve around the kid’s activities, the budget, groceries and anything but the relationship that is slowly crumbling…

So 2 days before a long overdue trip, away from everything — the excitement is hesitant as fear starts to take hold. Where does one start and how will it end? What if the words don't come? What if you realize there is no longer anything there — that the relationship that once was full of love instead will be empty and hollow…. What if you find the support you once believed in, are no longer there — that you are truly alone?

Where does one start?

Dear God,
I know it's been awhile….