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Last week was absolutely amazing for this lowly writer. Three friends and I embarked on a long road trip to the Blue Ridge Mountains Christian Writers Conference in North Carolina. We used the time in the car to discuss new ideas, brainstorm plots and pray. Then a question popped up. “Have you heard about the recent poll on social media, asking women if they would rather meet a bear or a man on a path through a forest?” I have not, and when presented with this choice, I instinctively replied: “A man.” I was the only one.

The week filled with all-things writing was a little taste of Heaven for me, yet I kept wondering about our car discussion. Observing that the number of men attending the conference increased from the previous year made me feel encouraged. When the MC asked them to stand up just before one of the worship sessions and prayed over them, I felt good.

It seems that for a few decades now our society focuses not only on empowering women (which is wonderful) but also on deconstructing the confidence of our men. And if we are not careful, we the Christian women could (often unknowingly) join this effort and hurt the people we love the most.

I thought of this as I was tending to my goats this morning. Would I really want to meet a bear? Ever? And was I right to swim against the stream and stand by my answer? Well, give me five minutes and I can come up with a list of 50 men that my life is blessed with. I can start with my husband and son, then add my friends’ spouses, family members, church acquaintances, writers…this list goes on.

Then comes the question of the bear. I feel that most of those who replied to the survey had never really met a bear, outside a ZOO. We had a mean rooster once, and I gave my children a stick, with the instructions to use it, if the bird attacks them. I also got bitten by a stray kitten and was shocked when my doctor handed me a prescription. The Sunday afternoon call from the Ministry of Health freaked me out. A very concerned member of the team instructed me to take the cats to a shelter for two weeks of observation, to ensure that they do not carry rabies, which is a deadly disease. A bear? No, thank you.

Make no mistake, I’m not advocating for throwing all caution to the wind. My friend just shared with me yesterday that one of her close friends got held at gunpoint just this past week in the attempted carjacking, in the brought daylight, in the centre of a small city, in the parking lot outside her office. My sisters to the South carry personalized S&W for this exact reason—well, I’m not suggesting this either. Neither do I think that walking alone in Algonquin Park is a good idea.

Jesus said it best: “Behold, I am sending you out as sheep in the midst of wolves, so be wise as serpents and innocent as doves” (Matt. 10:16).

So, where does that leave us? How about: “Whoever says he is in the light and hates his brother is still in darkness. Whoever loves his brother abides in the light, and in him there is no cause for stumbling” (1 John 2:9–10).

Hate might be a little strong, and we also need to insert the word ‘sister’ in this verse, but I refuse to live in darkness, because our society seems to think that is the safer choice.

We can quote scary statistics, informing us that men are more likely to commit violent crimes against women than vice versa. My heart goes out to all women who have fallen victims to such horrific acts. But does that mean that we must live in fear of half of the population? I refuse to subscribe to this line of thought, despite some of my unfortunate experiences.

From time to time I think of these instances of inappropriate and unacceptable behaviour, and I do not share them often. But speaking out empowers us to overcome, heal and move forward, so here they are.

The first one was when I was grade seven, and a boy touched me in the school cafeteria. Once. I still recall the incident decades later.

The second one happened at a local swimming pool in my hometown. My friend and I decided the get ice cream in the adjacent restaurant. While waiting in line, one of the beer-drinking patrons decided to pinch my bottom. Not okay. Ever. My friend laughed it off. I was petrified.

The third incident happened in an Austrian refugee camp, when a man kindly volunteered to be my French teacher, and a few weeks later suggested that he would pay for my trip to Jordan to visit his friend, the King. Had he said something less lavish, I might have taken him seriously. Let’s just say that this was decades before the term ‘human trafficking’ was coined, and my naïve 16-year-old mind failed to understand the scope of his plan.

But these are extreme cases. To think that most men are obsessed with hurting women is a fallacy. I also think of the females that inflict harm on others. Yes, the likelihood of a physical attack might be lower, but what about psychological abuse? As a survivor of years of living with a narcistic relative, and after several counselling sessions, prayer and healing, I can attest to the fact that this form of abuse is far more damaging than we often care to admit.

I stand by my choice. I refuse to believe that the outcome of meeting a wild predator in a forest is less dangerous than meeting another fellow human being. After all, one can’t outrun, out-swim or out-climb a bear. And to all the sisters out there who think that I may be completely wrong? Here is one more verse. In Genesis 1:27, we read, “So God created man in his own image, in the image of God created he him; male and female created he them.” Let’s stand, strong and united, and do what our Lord had told us: go and make disciples of all nations, as equals, respecting and loving each other, for by this everyone will recognize that we are His.

P.S. Given the choice, I would much rather meet the man called Jesus, along a long, dark, and deserted path through a forest.

About the author...
Helena Smrcek, a journalist, author, and screenplay writer, believes in the power of a well-told story. Her readers can expect a captivating page-turner, filled with thrilling suspense, and heartwarming romance.

She started in publishing as a high school student, freelancing for Mississauga News. Her journalism carrier took off in 1999. Within three years Helena accumulated over 100 by-lines and interviewed Ann Graham Lotz, Carol Lewis, Cec Murphey, Kelita, and others. Her stories, many of them covers, have been published in Canada, the USA, Bermuda, New Zealand, and Australia. In 2002 she accepted a position at Listen Up TV, a current affairs program.

Helena became a founding member of Write!Canada, and The Word Guild, a Canadian national association of writers and editors. She is a graduate of Jerry Jenkin’s Craftsman Class, Act One, Donald Maass’ Fire in Fiction, Writer’s Police Academy, and several mentoring programs.

She regularly attends writers’ conferences and is a past or current member of such organizations as Word Weavers, American Christian Fiction Writers, Sisters in Crime, Toast Masters International, Boni, The Writer’s Guild, and others. Helena loves to participate in NaNoWriMo and hosts a writers’ group.

Click HERE to visit Helena’s website.